…Dog’s Feet Smell Like Vacuum Cleaner Bag…
…Roast Beef: Lunch Meat or Middle Toe? Little Piggies Respond…
…For sale: baby shoes, never worn…
…Waldo still missing…
…15 found dead in Warner Bros. Water Tower, at the Warner Movie lot…
…Forks and outlets: you decide…
Cancer linked to death!
…The Academy Awards ‘In Memoriam’ Forgets To Mention Macaulay Culkin For The Third Year In A Row…
…Woman Credits Bikini Bod to “Thousands of Tiny Stomach Worms…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Africa Is Not A Country…
…4-8-15-16- … eh, Lost sucks…
…Entertainment personality ahead in the polls…
…AMBER ALERT: Amber Tamblyn…
…2019 NHL Season Put On Ice…
…BREAKING: Grandmother Not Actually As Proud Of You As She Says…
…Christmas Scheduled to Happen Again This Year…
…Local Mom Still Talking About Tupperware…
…Study finds that 9 out of 10 studies are for nerds…
Cigarettes linked to cancer!
…God found dead in space…
…Quiz: Do You Have A Savior Complex Or Are You Just Jesus?…
…AMBER ALERT: Spoon; Last seen running away with a Dish…
…Four turtles and a rat found dead of toxic poisoning…
…Tropic of Cancer sues Caribbean Medical Board for copyright infringement…
…Mannequins found in store window…
…Hats are cool…
…AMBER ALERT: Tiffany Amber Thiessen…
…BREAKING NEWS: New Yorkers shocked to learn Staten Island isn’t part of New Jersey…
…Thoughts and prayers found to be cancerous…
…Quiz: Does He Know You’re Illiterate? …
…Cancer and Death to marry… cigarettes devastated…
…All the news that isn’t really news…
…Camcorder found in uncle bob’s basement, police investigate…
…Medieval Times to get modern update…
…Ophthalmologist: Glasses Are Sexy…
…Forever 21 Turns 34 this year…
…Quiz: Which 90s Murderer Are You?…
…Lindbergh baby missing…
…World Awaits Next Carrot Top Prop…
…10 Out Of 10 Car Salesmen Agree, You Need A New Car…
…Waldo found… Nope, not him…
…”Peacoat” not what name suggests…
…Trump revealed to actually be doing the Harlem Shake for the past 18 months…
…“Specialist” not a real designation…
…BitCoins Revealed To Be Pogs All Along…
…Scientists find that Vaping is dope AF…
…I fucking hate this job… Also, Brian is an asshole…
…Colonel Sanders Found to Have Never Served in the Military…
…San Francisco and Oakland make up; will become one city…
Toria Sheffield
Toria Sheffield

Author - Carb Eater

Toria Sheffield's work has appeared in places like Reductress, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and The Huffington Post Blog. She's won the Gold Prize for Comedy in the Page International Screenwriting Awards, and once made a web series called "Lawyers in Space" that nobody "got." She lives to make you laugh, and also to eat carbs.