…World Awaits Next Carrot Top Prop…
…Cancer and Death to marry… cigarettes devastated…
…15 found dead in Warner Bros. Water Tower, at the Warner Movie lot…
…Waldo found… Nope, not him…
…10 Out Of 10 Car Salesmen Agree, You Need A New Car…
…BREAKING NEWS: New Yorkers shocked to learn Staten Island isn’t part of New Jersey…
…4-8-15-16- … eh, Lost sucks…
…Hats are cool…
…Four turtles and a rat found dead of toxic poisoning…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Africa Is Not A Country…
…Medieval Times to get modern update…
…Trump revealed to actually be doing the Harlem Shake for the past 18 months…
…Colonel Sanders Found to Have Never Served in the Military…
…Lindbergh baby missing…
…Camcorder found in uncle bob’s basement, police investigate…
…BitCoins Revealed To Be Pogs All Along…
…Forks and outlets: you decide…
…Study finds that 9 out of 10 studies are for nerds…
Cancer linked to death!
…Scientists find that Vaping is dope AF…
…I fucking hate this job… Also, Brian is an asshole…
…Local Mom Still Talking About Tupperware…
…“Specialist” not a real designation…
…For sale: baby shoes, never worn…
…Dog’s Feet Smell Like Vacuum Cleaner Bag…
Cigarettes linked to cancer!
…2019 NHL Season Put On Ice…
…San Francisco and Oakland make up; will become one city…
…Waldo still missing…
…Ophthalmologist: Glasses Are Sexy…
…Roast Beef: Lunch Meat or Middle Toe? Little Piggies Respond…
…BREAKING: Grandmother Not Actually As Proud Of You As She Says…
…Woman Credits Bikini Bod to “Thousands of Tiny Stomach Worms…
…”Peacoat” not what name suggests…
…Thoughts and prayers found to be cancerous…
…Entertainment personality ahead in the polls…
…AMBER ALERT: Amber Tamblyn…
…The Academy Awards ‘In Memoriam’ Forgets To Mention Macaulay Culkin For The Third Year In A Row…
…Christmas Scheduled to Happen Again This Year…
…AMBER ALERT: Spoon; Last seen running away with a Dish…
…Forever 21 Turns 34 this year…
…All the news that isn’t really news…
…Quiz: Which 90s Murderer Are You?…
…Mannequins found in store window…
…Tropic of Cancer sues Caribbean Medical Board for copyright infringement…
…Quiz: Does He Know You’re Illiterate? …
…AMBER ALERT: Tiffany Amber Thiessen…
…Quiz: Do You Have A Savior Complex Or Are You Just Jesus?…
…God found dead in space…
Elijah Taylor
Elijah Taylor

Author - Orphan - Skeleton

Elijah Taylor is a scrappy orphan who uses humor as a coping mechanism. He is available for publications or events as a freelance writer, fighter, or Muppet.